Where did you get a picture of my penis
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Fuck appropriateness.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
