i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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