I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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