I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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