btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
