She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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