What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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