He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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