can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
