I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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