But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
