this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
