he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
