So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
