Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
