Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
