"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
