so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
