Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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