Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
