fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize