im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
