thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
