How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
