I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
