After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
