I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
