he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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