I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
