garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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