i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
