OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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