It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
