If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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