We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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