Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
