What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize