just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
