I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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