We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
