Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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