I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
