I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
