We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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