Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
