as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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