he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
