sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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