yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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