Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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