That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Houston, we have a squirter
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
